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Posted Jul 23, 2024 | 9:05 AM
An obituary from his daughter’s perspective
Robert, Bob, Son, Brother, Husband, Father, Father-in-law, Poppa, Great Poppa and Friend.
How to capture Bob in just a few short paragraphs will prove challenging, especially leaving out the
usual barrage of curse words that always accompanied his stories. And there are so many stories to tell.
I will certainly do my best to try to make him proud this one last time.
Son, Brother – Born in Toronto to Russell and Helen May, the first of two boys, he came into the world
screaming with his fiery red hair. So it was destined from the get go that he was going to be a real
firecracker. His childhood was spent raising a ruckus in the streets of Cobourg and Port Hope. He was
pretty notorious throughout the neighbourhood, always ready for some fun and some fights. From
memory, Poppa May was pretty laid back but Nanny May, she tried to keep him in line. No easy feat. He
was a great son to her, taking care of her after his dad’s passing, ensuring she had the best life possible.
Father, Father-in-law, Poppa, Great Poppa – It was in Port Hope where he met his first wife, which
resulted in four children and many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Sometimes nothing gave Bob
more pleasure than firing up his son Russ at his monthly poker games. Especially because Russ hates to
lose. More than most. Whether it was getting him to go all in or raising the stakes on a crappy hand, it
was great entertainment for Bob and the rest of the players at the table that’s for sure.
Husband, Father – Bob then met the love of his life – Lyn – at GM where they both spent their careers.
And with her she brought two spirited kids, me and Cory, into his life. There were lots of laughs, lots of
fights, lots of heartbreak, lots of adventures (and misadventures) and lots of love between the four of
them.
Some misadventures spoke to another title he held – RRM, his initials, which in his words stood for Rip
Roaring Maniac. Bob’s love of cars and the need for speed may have led to a few of those fights I
mentioned above. Countless speeding tickets, including one for going 180 km/h, cost him $2,000 in the
80s, and nearly one marriage.
He shared the story with me that one time, early on in their dating, that mom was waiting for him by her
car. He came out of the house and there she was – leaning against it, in some hot pants that were all the
rage at the time. He told me – she was gorgeous and asked himself – what did I ever do to deserve her?
That I’m not sure of, given his colourful past, but they were together for 50 years, for better or worse, in
sickness and in health. Bob was there by her side when she faced many health issues in the last years of
her life, a testament to their love.
Friend – Bob was quick to make friends, with his big smile, fun-loving nature and willingness to help
anyone in need. He could be counted on whenever anyone called for help to do whatever he could,
whether it was within his skill set or not. Bob was pretty savvy when armed with some duct tape and
few basic tools. And once he started out to fix something, it got done. It didn’t matter that it might cost
double of what the item was originally worth, he was determined.
The fact that he was a good friend was apparent in his final days as the love and support of his friends
was all around him. To those who spent countless hours at the hospital, thank you.
There is one more title Bob carried – Alcoholic. Being an alcoholic affected every part of Bob’s life. His
early struggles with alcoholism cost him a lot in his life. Something I know weighed on him.
He got sober on October 17, 1973 and we celebrated his 50 th sobriety birthday last year. An amazing
accomplishment. Bob’s journey from struggling young person to mentor and sponsor to many was one
of the things he was most proud of in his life and he couldn’t have done it without every one, from every
chapter, being there when he needed them.
Bob loved and cherished all his friends from across his many worlds. Know you meant so much to him.
I know his passing is a shock to so many and difficult to accept this new reality without him, but taking
inspiration from his AA journey, we all will have to try to move forward – One Day at a Time.
A celebration in his honour will be held in the place both he and Lyn loved the most, their home on
the Trent River, 145 Hood Lane in Frankford, on Saturday, September 7. Family and friends are welcome
to come and share memories of Bob, any time after 3 p.m.
If you want to do something in his memory, make a donation to your local animal shelter. I always said,
if I was to come back in a second life, it would be as one of Bob’s dogs. They had it made!
I can’t even capture how much I will miss him, but he won’t be so lost anymore after reuniting with my
Mom. She is his home.
Love you always my Bob.